THE WATER TAKE-OVER!!!!!

What day is it? I look at my calendar and realize that my report is due today. Got to go fast. I am well-known as a speed typer. I am minuscule, like half the size of a small mouse. Anyway, as I start typing on my white computer I realize that my washing is getting eaten by pests such as mice, cats, and a thing that would love to rip me to a million pieces a dog. What am I going to do? But then I remember that I have some sticky jam in my fridge. I will use that.